Don’t watch The Lobster!!!

You may have noticed a film called The Lobster on Netflix. You may have noticed that it has almost the full five stars. This is a PSA for those of you who have been duped into considering watching this film: DON'T. It's really, really, Christ-on-a-bendy-bus-I-can't-emphasise-this-enough, really boring. For those of you who haven't seen it, The Lobster, from… Continue reading Don’t watch The Lobster!!!


Review: Beauty and the Beast

Before I start, I should probably say I went in to this film expecting it to be absolutely awful: at best really bland, at worst offensive. Expecting to dislike Beauty and the Beast is probably the best policy, because I was pleasantly surprised. I don't need to explain the plot or hold back on spoilers, we… Continue reading Review: Beauty and the Beast

Review: Set the Thames on Fire (2015)

So much potential, yet so much disappointment, thanks to an ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE SCRIPT! ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE! FUCKING AWFUL, in fact. First time director Ben Charles Edwards presents us with two young men in a post-apocalyptic London. Art (Michael Winder), a down-on-his-luck pianist, meets Sal (Max Bennett), idealistic and recently escaped from Bedlam Psychiatric Hospital. They connect immediately,… Continue reading Review: Set the Thames on Fire (2015)

Review: Times Square (1980)

Alan Moyle's story of teenage disaffection about two runaways briefly loses itself in the second act. The reason? Homophobia. I'll explain. Thirteen-year-old Pamela (Trini Alvarado) is the daughter of a smothering, conservative New York politician. When he decides to have her checked into a psych facility to be tested and cured of...something, she meets Nicky… Continue reading Review: Times Square (1980)

Review: A Cure for Wellness

Christ, this film. Where do I even begin? Here?  No, that's silly. Almost more silly than A Cure for Wellness. You need a plot summary, I suppose. I'll try. In Gore Verbinski's latest, a young executive (Dane DeHaan) is sent to a mysterious spa in the Swiss Alps to fetch the CEO of a major financial corporation back… Continue reading Review: A Cure for Wellness